xx

45_rpm @ 2004-02-05T12:18:00

2004-02-05T19:19:26Z

LJ USERNAME A.D.D.
empezar

add it or don't add it, but i'm deleting this mug in a day. add it to be added back.

45_rpm @ 2004-02-05T09:40:00

2004-02-05T16:40:43Z

IM BORED AND I WANT TO GO TO THE CASTLE OF SOUND

45_rpm @ 2004-02-04T19:33:00

2004-02-05T02:34:46Z

http://mastersinhypnosis.cjb.net i re-did the layout. please check it out and if you haven't, download the song. tomorrow night jacob and i are going to record again. i'm excited.

45_rpm @ 2004-02-04T10:23:00

2004-02-04T17:23:40Z

http://mastersinhypnosis.cjb.net

45_rpm @ 2004-02-03T23:59:00

2004-02-04T07:01:24Z

tonight i spent some time with jacob cooper doing my first recording session for these songs i've been writing since i got out of the hospital. they're fairly quiet and instrumental. but we got one song basically done tonight and i thought i'd post it up here. it's only a couple megabytes and if you have some time, please give it a listen and leave a comment about what you think.

right click and save target as:
master's in hypnosis - no new medium

45_rpm @ 2004-02-02T22:42:00

2004-02-03T05:48:49Z

i can't sleep.

to anyone who's ever written a song on guitar who reads this, have you ever written a few pieces that you want to tie together but you just can't find the perfect note to place between something?

i keep on having that happen to me. i just need to find those perfect notes.

45_rpm @ 2004-02-02T10:18:00

2004-02-02T17:20:33Z

good things do happen to people. this morning i'm instant messaging a friend-- i said "it would be great if a thousand dollars just fell into my lap." well my mom decided to help me do my taxes and that's exactly what will be falling into my lap.

in two weeks i'll have the money to purchase a new bass amplifier and back-up guitar. hot fucking damn. thank the man.

45_rpm @ 2004-01-31T22:32:00

2004-02-01T05:36:22Z

i fucking love the b-boys. for some reason there's a lot of sub-subcultures that seem to talk about unity and praise it and even talk about "bringing it back" but for some reason these kids that love dance and hip-hop have more unity than everyone else. and they thrive on it. they compete against each other and yet still have the most complete respect for one another.

it's incredible. they have a passion that i can definately relate to and they have things in order. at least it seems that way. and i envy them.

and then seeing a movie preview for like you got served on television just makes a total fucking joke of it. all the real breakdancing boys and girls seriously know what's up and they mock the fuck out of something like that.

i want some unity like that. i wish social change was easy.

45_rpm @ 2004-01-30T22:19:00

2004-01-31T05:21:51Z

mono is so misleading because you feel like you have the energy to do things and by the time you finish doing them you wish you would have never. but today was a lot of fun.

thomas goss came over and we conquered baldur's gate. went downtown to see what was going on and of course nothing was. my girlfriend was missing in action driving some poor soul home.

the days that are eventful to me always end up becoming boring on here. i don't know about that.

45_rpm @ 2004-01-29T17:30:00

2004-01-30T00:30:58Z

i'm hearing all this stuff about the butterfly effect. everyone's getting punk'd!

45_rpm @ 2004-01-28T16:58:00

2004-01-28T23:59:10Z

god damn i want to jam.

also, you know you have the best grandma in the world when she orders you a kill sadie shirt as a "tonsils out" present. fuck yeah.

45_rpm @ 2004-01-27T10:51:00

2004-01-27T17:53:25Z

you know, when i bring my car to your place of business to get the oil changed, i do not want the radiator flushed, i don't care if the filter is a little dirty and the transmission is working good enough for me. i don't want to pay a hundred bucks for all these things because i just asked you to change my oil.

seriously, fuck jiffy lube.

45_rpm @ 2004-01-27T06:56:00

2004-01-27T14:00:32Z

i'm tired. but everyday i get less and less tired, that's good. i hate mono because it just leaves you feeling worn out most of the time. you get the energy to get up and do something and after you're done you are ready for sleep.

i feel like i have less patience than before, even saying that kind of frustrates me. i'm just sick of things falling apart. isodora crane cancelled on me-- and it makes me want to book less and less. bands with that "diy ethic" take advantage of me and say they want my help and i put some work into it for them to tell me days before the show that they can't play. oh well. i hate cancelling shows. it's like telling someone to schedule you because you're going to give them your time. and now they have to fill that time with something else.

anyway.

i get to drive my sister to school today, i haven't driven my car for two weeks, that's nice. i miss the tank.

45_rpm @ 2004-01-26T11:37:00

2004-01-26T18:38:45Z

i need a video game buddy. there is a battle i cannot win alone and i need someone to brave it with me! you won't get mono unless you drink from my cup of death.

anyone interested?

45_rpm @ 2004-01-25T07:24:00

2004-01-25T14:26:23Z

i woke up at four o'clock this morning. and i picked up my guitar. and then i put it down for a second and realized if i ever couldn't play my guitar or make music, i'd have no interest in living.

45_rpm @ 2004-01-24T15:31:00

2004-01-24T22:39:16Z

i hate things.

it just made sense that after six days in the hospital i'd come to sit in this chair and tell everyone how horrible it was. because it was. because i feel like shit and i want you to know that i am not feeling happy and it doesn't feel like my friends care about that! but that's all nonsense.

my hair has to be cut. i haven't been able to correctly wash it and i'm just tired of it. there are holes all over my arms. it just goes on and on and on. but god i am so weak.

and i feel so fucking weak.

i've never felt this weak in my life.

i can't bring myself to eat very well. i just want to do nothing. i just want to close my eyes and sleep because that's the only time i don't feel destroyed.

i'm home. no san diego. no band practices for a few weeks. but also no more needles. no more iv. no more beeping. no more nurses.

i'm sorry i just shit all over your friends page. sorry if i'm coming off abrupt. sorry.

45_rpm @ 2004-01-18T08:11:00

2004-01-18T15:14:02Z

decided to try and get out of the house yesterday. which i guess felt like a good idea. my mom really didn't want me to. i'm on these steroids which basically destroy my immune system. they're supposed to decrease the size of my tonsils.

god i want to fucking rip them out. i have to go back to the hospital today. they're so fucking huge. i'm sitting here, spacing out on vicodin wondering why the fuck this is happening to me.

alex and eric, if i don't talk to you today, hopefully you read this-- i cannot practice. i can't drive and i definately won't have time. i'll let you know when i do.

i just want this to be over. i'm so sick of being sick.

45_rpm @ 2004-01-17T07:23:00

2004-01-17T14:25:23Z

something's not right and it's starting to worry me. my left tonsil has enlarged further. although all the nausea is gone, the fever is over and the general pain and everything else has stopped. it just doesn't make sense that it keeps on getting bigger.

45_rpm @ 2004-01-17T05:52:00

2004-01-17T12:53:05Z

it's hard to sleep when all you've been doing is trying to sleep.

45_rpm @ 2004-01-16T18:25:00

2004-01-17T01:27:15Z

six hours in the emergency room was like six hundred hours in the emergency room. everything is okay for now. waiting for the tonsils to stop swelling. the fever is almost gone. and no more nausea.

i'm sorry to bore you with all of this, i just don't want to forget that people sometimes care about me even though i just don't believe it.

sorry.

ice cream and medicine. sleep and dream.

45_rpm @ 2004-01-16T05:33:00

2004-01-16T12:36:04Z

going to the hospital. not sure any of you really care, but i've honestly been sick these past few days. i'm complaining constantly because i can't form any other solid thought. my mind is going off on tangents.

anyway, i'm not sure how long i'll be there. my left tonsil has grown so large that it is protruding from my neck. disgusting. i can't sleep because no matter what position i seem to put pressure on it.

i'll be distant a few more days. i don't really want an iv in me nor painkillers, but my mom is saying it's the only way i'll improve. the antibiotics i've been taking for three days have done jack shit.

i'm totally not looking for pity.

45_rpm @ 2004-01-14T17:55:00

2004-01-15T00:57:00Z

here come the chills. i want my lover to hold me close and warm me up.

45_rpm @ 2004-01-14T07:00:00

2004-01-14T14:02:21Z

today i'm going to suck it up and do some punk rock aerobics!

<33333333333333333333333333333333333.

45_rpm @ 2004-01-13T20:34:00

2004-01-14T03:35:44Z

HELLO
THIS IS NOT JEREMY
THIS IS HIS TONSILS
WE HAVE EFFECTIVELY TAKEN OVER HIS BODY
WE ARE NOW GOING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD
WE HAVE A LIST OF CONTACTS
YOU ARE NEXT

45_rpm @ 2004-01-13T19:59:00

2004-01-14T03:10:23Z

i've gone out of my mind.

i can't quite explain but i just dreamed an "apocalypse." and the truth is no one will be prepared. no terror alerts could ever comfort what could really come. granted i'm on a lot of medicine, i can't really feel a sense of balance and i can't stop coughing.

everyone is going to go out into the streets. everyone is going to stay close to the ground and stare at the sky as if it might open up. as if it were some paranormal event. and the buildings will begin to crack around us. we will cling to the ones we love. we will begin to run as if there's a place of safety to go to. some will drive, others will run. some will just crawl. no one feels like socializing because there's nothing left to say. the end has come and every breath would be an absolute waste.

and in this one moment, there's going to be this total feeling of warmth. at first comforting, as if you're reaching into the arms of someone, but then quickly heating up. it will be as if brightness has consumed the sky, there is only white light and it is over. our lives are done.

so weird. how does the human brain produce things like this? i'm baffled. a little frightened. and tired of coughing my insides out. i've had a dream about being in a war before. and these were both equally disturbing. it was almost like i could understand what it was like knowing you had to kill someone else. except this time it was like i knew what it was like when existance was done because of nuclear attacks.